As with any new skill, trade or information it takes a moment to get to grips with it. Firstly it’s how does it work, followed by what does this do and so it goes on. It’s the same thing when you discover that you’re what’s known as a Wounded Healer. Now to be honest I started at “There’s no such thing”, before I travelled into “This must be a bad thing” before finally arriving at “It’s a brave thing to be here” because being A Wounded Healer is an absolute privilege.
However, at first I really didn’t understand the concept or what I was meant to do with this knowledge, particularly when you don’t know what to call it. This is one part of this that I have really struggled with for as long as I care to remember. When I began this journey, I started with the SNU (Spiritualist National Union), thinking that this would be the way to go and I had my first brush with abuses of power, but also with what it was possible for me to do.
Granted the entire experience was unpleasant, but it was my first brush with being a Wounded Healer. Since that first encounter there have been times when I have walked, then ran in the opposing direction, only to discover that it was always the right direction.
What I didn’t grasp at that time is the path, this Golden path we all seem to walk, it isn’t one way. The biggest and possibly worst assumption that we can make collectively is that just because linear time dictates that we can not go back in years, doesn’t mean that our path is like that. We can move forward and we can move back along the path, it’s already perfect so there is no way to make a mistake and even if that were to happen, it is already perfect and so it is not a mistake but something to learn from.
Even when I turned my back, stopped listening to my calling; a way was found to return me because that was how I was always going to be. It was how it was meant to be, I was still on my Golden Path, all I had done was stepped through the mirror and onto another branch of it, a bit like Alice going through the looking glass; at the other end another mirror and back out on the journey. The lesson being, you can pause, have a breath but sooner or later you will be following your calling.
If I am honest until around 7 years ago, I would never have accepted that this was my calling. However there are pivotal moments that completely change you, open you to the possibilities that you have a fated life or a destiny (depending on if you believe in such things). I have often crossed paths with destiny; meeting my husband, meeting my extended family because of a spilt drink and then meeting amazing people through an open invite to my wedding on Social Media.
Moments that have changed the course of my life for the better, these moments feel like stepping through mirrors as part of this Golden Path, because sometimes a crossroads or a meeting with Destiny, is fated to change everything. This year has really been a time for release, a time for shedding and a time for letting go of old stagnated energies. So much of this would not have been possible without support from my family, from my husband and mum in particular.
Their unwavering belief and support has made it okay for me to just let go and be me, to release all the baggage and responsibility that comes with seeing the world differently. I have been dancing to a very intricate tango, learning the moves as I have danced but never felt brave enough to take the lead, until today.
The tango is very much like YinYang, for the dance to succeed one must have dominance but rather than the other being subservient, they must bend like a reed in the wind and be supple. The dance originally was between two men, locked in a dance both equals and yet during the dance the roles change as to who is leading who. As Yin will surrender to Yang, so does Yang surrender to Yin, it is the way balance is maintained. It is the way of the Dance.
My dance has been about acceptance, understanding that I am a Wounded Healer. Having the understanding of others pain, hurt and loss as well as their joys, loves and journey to beauty.
The Wounded Healer, doesn’t try to fix, mend or dictate how another soul should be, instead the Wounded Healer, holds space. The healer will embrace and meet the person where they are and act as a guide. We embrace our bravery and understand that we are reluctant to walk in a world that does not understand us yet, but then in order to heal the wounds that other do not see, we must walk the paths that others cannot know.