Daily Archives: August 5, 2016


Balance: Approaching the Path to Yin/Yang Understanding

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Challenging Your Perceptions…

 

To challenge and in return be challenged is a gift, although if I am honest, I do not always see it as such. Unless I am writing an article for the Tarot Blog Hop or Reiki Blog Hop then a lot of what I am writing is Soul-Felt. Recently I have found myself on the receiving end of more than one challenge. During Sacred De-armouring I was confronted with my own tourist like behaviours in all kinds of situations. It wasn’t an easy thing to deal with but the gift I received wasn’t just knowledge but also truth; an uncomfortable truth at that.

 

To be shown that sometimes you can be wrong, isn’t something I was ready to feel or possibly even accept. I avoided the concept like I avoided the concept that things could be perfect, complete opposite ends of the same spectrum and I had to face both over the course of one weekend. Now here I am a few weeks later confronting that same lesson but this time I don’t have that feeling, I read through an article that at first thought well yes! I must be wrong in my thought processes, but then I processed it a little more and thought about an old notion that I was told some years ago.

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‘Twice is Conformation’

 

It’s something that has time and again shown itself to be accurate for me, when I am writing a paper for a course or doing a project I fact check and I will make note of the places that I gain information from. Typically I will go to my books first and then I will come to the internet and if all else fails I will ask someone before I will go to Wikipedia. It is rare for me to state that I know something for certain or make any definites I only speak from my experience and my own knowledge base. I have had a lot of my work and words validated over the last 20 – 24 years and that includes anything that I have done with regards to Tarot or Spirituality.

 

The one thing I have grown tired of saying in all that time is I’m dyslexic, it has become this badge I continually have to wear almost like a caution for the ignorant or those too lazy to take the time to read posts and pages properly. It will almost always come up at some point in a conversation with someone who doesn’t know me that well and in those instances it’s actually fine, and I don’t mind, I think that other thing I have grown weary or maybe just wary of is just how limited the perception others can have. I mean I am the one with the reading issue and yet I end up having to walk someone through a train of thought that is fairly self explanatory.

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Words Have No Emotion Unless Spoken or Framed in Context…

 

We use words, sentences and paragraphs every moment of life, even as babies before we grasped what words were; we had our unique language and then we were gifted the ability to structure that unique language with words that belonged to our race, country and place of birth. Throughout time we have been able to attach emotions to the words spoken and written words in a book when framed correctly evoke the right emotion, but words in a text message and certainly in a messenger window, don’t have emotion; they are just words and yet there is an almost incessant need to attach an emotion to them.

 

Maybe it is something that I have gained from the on and off years I have been doing Tai Chi or the connections that I have made between Reiki, Taoism and Buddhist philosophies but I have come to realise that where the internet and indeed social media are concerned there is no point in creating attachments to the words that authors write on pages or feeds. To personalise something that may or may not be about you only causes you the emotion, the other person is oblivious to the fact you are having those feelings. In fact to show that you are reacting only make that person stronger, so sometimes it is best to just walk away from it.

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Shattering Me…

 

A this point I feel I want to start rounding up some of the threads that are within this post, mainly to help you understand where this is all leading to. As for me I already know because I am the author, so let me start with something that I mentioned at the start about tourist behaviours; these are behaviours such as making and stating very grand things but not really having that much conviction or explanation behind them, they are said to see what reaction can be evoked, its not really done in malice or badness it’s a defence mechanism that I employed to try make friends or at least hide behind a pretense and observe people without really being in the moment or having a genuine feeling or connection.

 

It is almost as if a moment is a transitory experience and it doesn’t actually matter, when the reality is, that every moment does matter, regardless of how transitory it might appear to be. There are other examples as well but the best one to really see yourself through your own eyes is to remove your name, for a day or in the right kind of workshop just remove your name, or give yourself another one and see what happens. When I chose to do that very thing, I saw myself through the eyes of others and it changed me. At first I was actually repulsed by the words that others had said to me, eventually after trying to hold it together I broke, I needed to break and needed the release because in doing so I found myself, well the start of it anyway.

 
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Finding Myself Again…

 

In the process of finding myself, I rediscovered something that I again touched on at the start, my ability to fact check; you see I don’t enter into a post without knowing my thoughts, feeling my knowledge and owning my understanding. So I will check out the meaning of a word, and I will also from that meaning surmise that from a particular view point that word may have an expanded or perhaps even deeper meaning than may first be considered. I will give you a recent example that has created a bit of a problem.

 

Ancient and Arcane two words that for me have very similar meanings and also for me I used them with specific context. Even before I began to type this paragraph I chose to look up both words in order to clarify my thinking and I am happy that from my own perceptions its correct.

 

The word Ancient can mean: “Ancient(adj); old; that happened or existed in former times, usually at a great distance of time; belonging to times long past; specifically applied to the times before the fall of the Roman empire; opposed to modern; as, ancient authors, literature, history; ancient days“.

 

The word Arcane can mean: “Arcane(adj) understood by few; mysterious or secret.”arcane procedures for electing people” synonyms: mysterious, secret, hidden, concealed, covert, clandestine, enigmatic, dark; esoteric, obscure, abstruse, recondite, little known, recherch√©, inscrutable, impenetrable, opaque, incomprehensible, cryptic, occult “the arcane world of the legal profession” antonyms: well known, open

 

So let me walk this through for you, to explain why I feel these two words can be used in a specific context. Arcane as you can see “understood by few; mysterious or secret” and Ancient as you are also aware and can see “old; that happened or existed in former times” by our modern day standards Arcane knowledge is also Ancient knowledge because it is now not known or understood by few and has become mysterious and secret because of its age and because it existed in a former time (Source: definitions.net & google.co.uk)

 

However this notion of word usage and context has as I say become a problem, and made me address this idea of being wrong or misinformed. It’s like my knowledge base as well, I have studied many subjects within the esoteric movement from parapsychology, numerology, character analysis, astrology and the list goes on, I have studied tarot but I learnt through doing not through books, I only chose to get a certification because I felt being out in the public domain I had better have something that shows my worth. The books I have on the subject vary from 1800’s through to 2016 and somehow I don’t think I would just ‘bin them’ because my thoughts on the matter clash with someone else. (you can see the entire saga here)

 
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A Matter of Balance and Opinion

 

If I believe I am wrong I will admit to it, if another suggests that I am wrong or that my knowledge is fallible then that is also something that I will admit to as I did on the Sacred weekend, however on here on this blog or this site, I am prepared to dig my heels in and not exactly fight but state my case from my understanding until either an impasse is reached or I realise that there is no power in the words and it is opinion. In which, case I am no longer afraid of suggesting that the opinion is actually wrong. True there will be times when both opinions are right or indeed wrong, but at the end of the day, does that even matter?

 

The soul of the matter for me is direct and straightforward, opinion like fact is based on someone having written the words to begin with and then having others back-up, verify and give pundits or accreditation to those words. Then through time the words soon become thought of as fact and eventually even historical fact; whether they are right or wrong; Freud is a good example of this, many still accept his work as historical fact but many others find his work to be flawed and outdated by our modern day standards and yet many still adhere to his works and reference them.

 

I said at the very start of this to challenge and be challenged is a gift; it may not always be welcomed but it is a gift none the less. I have received several gifts of challenge and the way I process and make sense of them is to write it out. Like I have done here; I know my mind, my knowledge and own my understanding, I am happy and content to have that peace, I am also content that some days I may be wrong and my opinion may be wrong but you know something… Today really isn’t that day…


Narcissist – Is it really such a bad term?

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The Trouble with Narcissism…

There was a time when I would have actually thought that Narcissism was a very bad thing as society and culture generally would have me believe but over the last few weeks I have really started to wonder about whether it is. I have two contrasting thoughts about it but somewhere along the line these contrasting thoughts have met in the middle and formed a union of opposites. A yin/yang balance so to speak.

 

On the one hand there is this popular belief that to be self-indulgent, talk about yourself and ignore everyone else is the start of narcissism. Programs like Ex On The Beach, TOWIE, Real Housewives and so on seem to focus on this idea that money, power, orange tan lines, bad hair and massive eyelashes are what the viewing public is interested in; but also its more than that this idea that self glorification is somehow bad. There is actually a lot of negative connotations to the self perpetuation where the focus of it is looks, material wealth and glamour, this idea that bigger the breast the more chance a footballer will want to date you; or the bigger the muscle, blonder the hair and the deeper more bronzed tan, will get some porn star model with a DD chest to fall for you; is bad, and has such a vapid negative connotation that it goes beyond narcissism and into borderline stupidity.

 

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It’s Not that Simple?

 

I find it troubling that there is a recent spate of what you could call anti-self love information graphics, doing the rounds on social media. It made me ask the internal question – Is there a difference between the selfie and narcissistic posts that say look at me? – Surely it’s not that simple; is constant posing for the camera and posting the image to social media and a selfie every few days/weeks different? Is saying I love being me and I love me two completely separate entities? Surely you can’t have one without the other, and to those who post up selfies and then post up informational graphics that tell the casual viewer how bad it is to adore or whatever yourself, is that not hypocritical?

 

Why is it fine to post up about how good self love is and why it is needed, but then also tell the casual viewer how bad it is because it’s now suddenly been rebranded as narcissism? Recently I have begun to get comfortable in my own skin and also spend time actually posting on social media, things to help people think about themselves and their behaviours; by the standards that your informational graphics set, this would now mean my posts are in some way not self promotional, but typical of someone with so called narcissistic personality disorder…

 

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Time to Re-think YOUR Behaviours…

 

A word to the ‘wise’ maybe it’s time for you to change, not those of us who are actually comfortable with speaking out, writing our thoughts and breaking with the normal – which seems to be using someone else’s word and/or preach about love and light; let me tell you why, you can’t have the light without the dark and you can’t know love without first understanding hate. Yes! in case you’re wondering I actually do know them both quite intimately, and neither of them are nice. I have only learnt about the true language of light, because it saw me through my dark night of my soul. I only learnt to give and accept love unconditionally, because I spent most of my teenage social life learning what hate was, in all its multi-coloured darkness.

 

In business like life you have to know your trade and have a good sound knowledge base, no matter where it comes from. Self-love is brilliant and it needed at this time, so is recognising that narcissism is a tool; you actually need it if you are going to survive life as well as being in business. Regardless of whether you’re a sole trader, part-time or employed by a company, the ‘me, me, me’ is used to sell, sell, sell!

It is when the ego roams unchecked, preaching to all and sundry about love, light and how blessed we are to know you or about you that there is a problem; You become a lesson and also a gift; the lesson that you become is the very one you have been telling the viewership about. The gift is learning not to become the same said lesson.

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Uneasy Lies the Mirror…

 

Now here is something that is really going to bake your noodle… If you have been reading through this and by now you’re ready to launch into the comments with some kind of tirade or you’re going to hunt me out on social media in the belief that you have to call me out because I am talking about you… That says more about you than it does about me, but here is where I flip you over and bake the other side – the biggest question of all I pose is this, why does it offend you? I have not mentioned names, I haven’t spoken about anything specific and further to that most of these images bar one have come from google through a general search and there is only one that came from social media and it turned up because I was looking for it.

 

Just as I wait for the timer to count down from the baking, I’d actually like to point out that I don’t actually have anyone in mind. In general from social media alone I think I know maybe 300+ people, of that 300+ I am on friendly terms with most and I know about half of that total number in person or through personal interaction via the internet; so no, none of this is specifically about you or anyone else, only you have made it about you and that is the difference here.

To me this is a post on traits that I have noticed on my social media feeds and through media consumption generally. It is also a commentary on how narcissist seems to mean, the insecure put the secure ones down and how for the jealous and the envious it is a word that claims a person is narcissistic because and then list all their reasons.

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I’m Big, You’re Small…

Meanwhile (for me), these behaviours remind me of Matilda and in particular the character of Trunchbull and her bully tactics. Most of the time now I am reminded of the line I’m Big, You’re Small… It is always the ones who aren’t as comfortable in their own skin that cry wolf and scream narcissist. Yet these very same ones that do that have the loudest walls or the largest social media presence; try to have the biggest following, and look for the biggest amount of self gratification and yet they have no ego, apparently…

As for me, well I am still getting used to speaking my mind and also used to the problems that this brings, I seem to have developed the knack for de-armouring the light and fluffy using words. It makes people in that comfort zone jangle and forces them to think about the potential that not everything is light, rainbows and unicorns… Thing is, I am getting to be okay with that, because that’s my dharma and seems to be apart of who I am becoming…