Jay’s Musings

To Boldly Go… My Journey So Far…

My Journey So Far…

WhoisI have this sense that this year is a huge year of change for me, and part of the change has already started. It’s chosen to start here at my website, you see this is the time of year where everything gets renewed, it is Imboloc, the start of spring and the stirring of new life. This is my time for renewal of everything as well, at this point its the site; so I decided that it was time to renew some of the pages and update my information.
It is around this time that I often look back at the journey I have taken so far; if you have come to the site before then you might be familiar with the background. Originally my business was born out of a promise that I made to my dad as I walked him to the threshold between this life and the higher side or spirit world. I began with Tarot Readings and Clairvoyant demonstrations, renting a room in a salon near by to home. This opened a door to platform demonstrations at Spirituality Churches, something that I had always wanted to do but never thought it would be possible.
RayofLightTowards the end of that year, I kept receiving flashback memories to do with a conversation that had happened four years previously. The conversation had revolved around a system of healing called Reiki, now at that point four years ago, I stored that information away as “something to look into at a later date” and this seemed to be the later date. It is funny to think how I wasn’t able to see my boyfriend (now husband) due to the weather being really bad, which led me to caving in and asking about the importance of the memories that kept replaying that evening. It was dad that came through and said to me that I needed to spend the evening looking into Reiki rather than spending it wishing everyone a happy new year online.
book_glassesI remember spending a majority of that evening doing that very thing, I kept finding out that it was a system of hands on healing, gentle and very kind. The conflicting information seemed to be around the cost and where you learnt it. I reached an impasse and could not venture any further forward with my investigation at that time. However on the eve of 2013, as I kept having this feeling and accompanying set of memories from four years earlier; these specific memories to do with a system of healing known as Reiki, were leading me somewhere. I did not know what form it was going to take or how I was going to achieve it. After spending most of 2012 in a very strange place, grieving at the physical loss of my dad but at peace in the knowledge that he was in a better place. I had focused on my studies with the Open University and also with BSY.
Now here I was at the very start of 2013 and I encountered (although I did not know it) my first Angelic presence, the voice directly me to look up a lady that I had worked with and had a great deal of time and respect for. On her site was a name, the name of my Usui Reiki Master Teacher. In earnest I began to look over and learn about Reiki from the different sites that I had booked marked and I decided to follow what Dad and the presence of the Angel had suggested and got in touch. It was four years ago this month that I gained my Usui Reiki Level I and by the April of that same year, I would be trained as a Practitioner in Usui Reiki.
angels-announcing2014, which was the following year, was a very interesting year. I became a fully trained Usui Reiki Master Teacher, not once but twice and I was introduced to Angelic Reiki. Going on the Angelic Reiki Practitioners Workshop, opened my eyes but confused the hell out of me at the exact same time. I had gone from hosting an Evening of Clairvoyance at my place of work, to being invited by the chair of a local spiritualist church to do the platform of her church. This soon developed into taking the services in many of the other churches within the area, a service that I very much enjoy and continue to do.
It took me a year but I returned to the Angelic Reiki journey; I started off by redoing my Practitioners and once again it opened my eyes and I began to see that this journey of Reiki is ongoing and that you are led by the Reiki energy to follow the flow no matter where it takes you. In the gap between the first time and the second time, I had gone mobile and branched out into doing House Parties and Public Demonstrations of Clairvoyance, something that is very different to doing Church services. I was taught valuable lessons, about the differences and it was also a year where I was in the position to teach groups about Spiritual Development and taking on Reiki students as well.
feng-shui-astrologyHowever it was not until 2015 that I realised exactly what this would mean for me. By the end of 2014, I felt that it was time to make some needed changes to both my way of life and also to my business life and so I decided that it was time to change my business name and adopt a less stressful business ethos and practice. I realised that if I was getting stressed and strung out then I was not living the same teachings I was passing on to others. It was at the same time I knew that I had to return to Angelic Reiki, and so during 2015 I went back to the practitioners workshop again and received an awakening at the core of my being. It woke me to my purpose and the reality of being me, something that profoundly changed not only the way I work but also my understanding as well.
Angelic Reiki raised my vibration and helped me to realise that I had a very deep and rich history with Angelic energies and also the Angels themselves. I decided that I wanted to further my journey and completed my Masters followed soon after by completing the Teachers as well. In everything that I do I follow the Reiki way, it is not just a therapy treatment for me it is a way of life, I very much adhere to the ancient Shinto practises, in that I honour the ancestors, as I honour the universe, spirit (not limited to just loved ones) as well as honouring every human life whether I actually like the person or not, I honour the fact they have that spark of life and light.
feng-shui-astrologyThroughout 2016, I found that once again my life and outlook began to go through changes; I had started to learn massage therapies as I felt that they had important role to play with Reiki, I also went through a great awakening as the more I connected to my Sojourn and to the divinity of the universe both inside and outside; I found and discovered that I really needed to become true to myself both personally and professionally. Last year was a year of massive shifts and changes, it began after my first time teaching Angelic Reiki; one of the important realisations that I have come to with any teaching is that I facilitate learning; I open the door and the students take themselves through that door and learn very quickly what it means to experience Angelic Reiki, or Usui Reiki. They come to understand (eventually) that it is more about being than it is about doing, sometimes you need to experience and follow the natural flow and that also applies to myself.
connectedI became aware that I had to shift some major past life karma, and that I also needed to fully awaken the Kundalini energy that is apart of who I am. These both play vital roles in my journey and also it required me to let go and also come home to myself as well, in order to progress and move forward with my work. So I signed myself up to doing a sacred de-armouring workshop, it is not for the faint of heart but it makes a difference and really does bring home the idea of being in a physical body as well as having an energy form as well. This also led me to doing ancestral work, which made such a difference and allowed me to experience release at the same time. This also opened up to the very unpleasant side of the work that I do and can be involved with.
I have always found myself in the presence of the best teachers, the best facilitators and I have over time realised why this is. As a person that has various learning and biological complications, I find that I am placed in situations with the best people that work with these rather than against them. They have either helped me to recognise these thing for what they are, or they have helped me to overcome or turn them into strengths. However the flip side of this is that it has shown me beyond the veil of pretence and hyperbole; as for every great facilitator or teacher there is one who is not that great.
meRecently I have discovered that much of what I had believed or been led into believing belonged to others, I have been through a lot in order to come home and start to embody my sojourn, my beliefs and also take what I have been taught and put it across in away that makes sense to others. It’s not sitting well with people, in fact it has caused me a great deal of problems for the better part of nine months. I will also be upfront and honest by saying that it has caused a lot of damage on the personal and professional level and I am over being told who I am and who I am not by the spectators of my life in the peanut gallery of hearsay and rumour.
I take my work very seriously and I honour what I have been taught but I will also honour what I am feeling and how I am being led by the flow of Reiki and also the calling of Source and Divine Will. This means that it is time to allow natural evolution and the ebb and flow of source to guide. I follow that flow and allow it to show me what needs to be on any given workshop or with any given client because at that moment it is perfect, and the student or the client gets what they need not what is being prescribed by some formula, there are standards and I will always adhere and work within those standards.
meI’d love to say that this has been the easy part, giving you the reader information about who I am but believe me when I say it’s really the hardest part of it. I have read so many about pages, as I would image you have as well and they all have the customary ‘selfie’ and then go into this huge textual glorification about how they have been this and then one day had an epiphany and were suddenly encouraged by their great grandmother, mother or some other person to go out into the world and share their gift and so on… Well like so many children up to around the age of 4 or 5 I was gifted, the difference with me I never had it bred out of me by school, my peers or even my family. If anything because I was bullied throughout the latter years of primary (elementary for those of you outside the UK) and all through Secondary education it made the connection to spirit stronger and allowed me the chance to hone the psychic skills as well.
Throughout my further education I was always interested in the esoteric and supernatural. It became a hobby of mine and it led me into developing a very deep passion for not only the Tarot Cards but Spiritual communication as well, something that as you have read I continue working with today, however as well as platform I also do Trance work (channelling) as well as transfiguration work (spiritually my features change). I love all aspects of my work, they have been my life since I was born really. As I said above Reiki is not just a therapy or a method of healing for me, Reiki is who I am, I live and work with it each and every day of my life.

Balance: Approaching the Path to Yin/Yang Understanding


Challenging Your Perceptions…


To challenge and in return be challenged is a gift, although if I am honest, I do not always see it as such. Unless I am writing an article for the Tarot Blog Hop or Reiki Blog Hop then a lot of what I am writing is Soul-Felt. Recently I have found myself on the receiving end of more than one challenge. During Sacred De-armouring I was confronted with my own tourist like behaviours in all kinds of situations. It wasn’t an easy thing to deal with but the gift I received wasn’t just knowledge but also truth; an uncomfortable truth at that.


To be shown that sometimes you can be wrong, isn’t something I was ready to feel or possibly even accept. I avoided the concept like I avoided the concept that things could be perfect, complete opposite ends of the same spectrum and I had to face both over the course of one weekend. Now here I am a few weeks later confronting that same lesson but this time I don’t have that feeling, I read through an article that at first thought well yes! I must be wrong in my thought processes, but then I processed it a little more and thought about an old notion that I was told some years ago.


‘Twice is Conformation’


It’s something that has time and again shown itself to be accurate for me, when I am writing a paper for a course or doing a project I fact check and I will make note of the places that I gain information from. Typically I will go to my books first and then I will come to the internet and if all else fails I will ask someone before I will go to Wikipedia. It is rare for me to state that I know something for certain or make any definites I only speak from my experience and my own knowledge base. I have had a lot of my work and words validated over the last 20 – 24 years and that includes anything that I have done with regards to Tarot or Spirituality.


The one thing I have grown tired of saying in all that time is I’m dyslexic, it has become this badge I continually have to wear almost like a caution for the ignorant or those too lazy to take the time to read posts and pages properly. It will almost always come up at some point in a conversation with someone who doesn’t know me that well and in those instances it’s actually fine, and I don’t mind, I think that other thing I have grown weary or maybe just wary of is just how limited the perception others can have. I mean I am the one with the reading issue and yet I end up having to walk someone through a train of thought that is fairly self explanatory.


Words Have No Emotion Unless Spoken or Framed in Context…


We use words, sentences and paragraphs every moment of life, even as babies before we grasped what words were; we had our unique language and then we were gifted the ability to structure that unique language with words that belonged to our race, country and place of birth. Throughout time we have been able to attach emotions to the words spoken and written words in a book when framed correctly evoke the right emotion, but words in a text message and certainly in a messenger window, don’t have emotion; they are just words and yet there is an almost incessant need to attach an emotion to them.


Maybe it is something that I have gained from the on and off years I have been doing Tai Chi or the connections that I have made between Reiki, Taoism and Buddhist philosophies but I have come to realise that where the internet and indeed social media are concerned there is no point in creating attachments to the words that authors write on pages or feeds. To personalise something that may or may not be about you only causes you the emotion, the other person is oblivious to the fact you are having those feelings. In fact to show that you are reacting only make that person stronger, so sometimes it is best to just walk away from it.


Shattering Me…


A this point I feel I want to start rounding up some of the threads that are within this post, mainly to help you understand where this is all leading to. As for me I already know because I am the author, so let me start with something that I mentioned at the start about tourist behaviours; these are behaviours such as making and stating very grand things but not really having that much conviction or explanation behind them, they are said to see what reaction can be evoked, its not really done in malice or badness it’s a defence mechanism that I employed to try make friends or at least hide behind a pretense and observe people without really being in the moment or having a genuine feeling or connection.


It is almost as if a moment is a transitory experience and it doesn’t actually matter, when the reality is, that every moment does matter, regardless of how transitory it might appear to be. There are other examples as well but the best one to really see yourself through your own eyes is to remove your name, for a day or in the right kind of workshop just remove your name, or give yourself another one and see what happens. When I chose to do that very thing, I saw myself through the eyes of others and it changed me. At first I was actually repulsed by the words that others had said to me, eventually after trying to hold it together I broke, I needed to break and needed the release because in doing so I found myself, well the start of it anyway.


Finding Myself Again…


In the process of finding myself, I rediscovered something that I again touched on at the start, my ability to fact check; you see I don’t enter into a post without knowing my thoughts, feeling my knowledge and owning my understanding. So I will check out the meaning of a word, and I will also from that meaning surmise that from a particular view point that word may have an expanded or perhaps even deeper meaning than may first be considered. I will give you a recent example that has created a bit of a problem.


Ancient and Arcane two words that for me have very similar meanings and also for me I used them with specific context. Even before I began to type this paragraph I chose to look up both words in order to clarify my thinking and I am happy that from my own perceptions its correct.


The word Ancient can mean: “Ancient(adj); old; that happened or existed in former times, usually at a great distance of time; belonging to times long past; specifically applied to the times before the fall of the Roman empire; opposed to modern; as, ancient authors, literature, history; ancient days“.


The word Arcane can mean: “Arcane(adj) understood by few; mysterious or secret.”arcane procedures for electing people” synonyms: mysterious, secret, hidden, concealed, covert, clandestine, enigmatic, dark; esoteric, obscure, abstruse, recondite, little known, recherché, inscrutable, impenetrable, opaque, incomprehensible, cryptic, occult “the arcane world of the legal profession” antonyms: well known, open


So let me walk this through for you, to explain why I feel these two words can be used in a specific context. Arcane as you can see “understood by few; mysterious or secret” and Ancient as you are also aware and can see “old; that happened or existed in former times” by our modern day standards Arcane knowledge is also Ancient knowledge because it is now not known or understood by few and has become mysterious and secret because of its age and because it existed in a former time (Source: definitions.net & google.co.uk)


However this notion of word usage and context has as I say become a problem, and made me address this idea of being wrong or misinformed. It’s like my knowledge base as well, I have studied many subjects within the esoteric movement from parapsychology, numerology, character analysis, astrology and the list goes on, I have studied tarot but I learnt through doing not through books, I only chose to get a certification because I felt being out in the public domain I had better have something that shows my worth. The books I have on the subject vary from 1800’s through to 2016 and somehow I don’t think I would just ‘bin them’ because my thoughts on the matter clash with someone else. (you can see the entire saga here)


A Matter of Balance and Opinion


If I believe I am wrong I will admit to it, if another suggests that I am wrong or that my knowledge is fallible then that is also something that I will admit to as I did on the Sacred weekend, however on here on this blog or this site, I am prepared to dig my heels in and not exactly fight but state my case from my understanding until either an impasse is reached or I realise that there is no power in the words and it is opinion. In which, case I am no longer afraid of suggesting that the opinion is actually wrong. True there will be times when both opinions are right or indeed wrong, but at the end of the day, does that even matter?


The soul of the matter for me is direct and straightforward, opinion like fact is based on someone having written the words to begin with and then having others back-up, verify and give pundits or accreditation to those words. Then through time the words soon become thought of as fact and eventually even historical fact; whether they are right or wrong; Freud is a good example of this, many still accept his work as historical fact but many others find his work to be flawed and outdated by our modern day standards and yet many still adhere to his works and reference them.


I said at the very start of this to challenge and be challenged is a gift; it may not always be welcomed but it is a gift none the less. I have received several gifts of challenge and the way I process and make sense of them is to write it out. Like I have done here; I know my mind, my knowledge and own my understanding, I am happy and content to have that peace, I am also content that some days I may be wrong and my opinion may be wrong but you know something… Today really isn’t that day…

Narcissist – Is it really such a bad term?


The Trouble with Narcissism…

There was a time when I would have actually thought that Narcissism was a very bad thing as society and culture generally would have me believe but over the last few weeks I have really started to wonder about whether it is. I have two contrasting thoughts about it but somewhere along the line these contrasting thoughts have met in the middle and formed a union of opposites. A yin/yang balance so to speak.


On the one hand there is this popular belief that to be self-indulgent, talk about yourself and ignore everyone else is the start of narcissism. Programs like Ex On The Beach, TOWIE, Real Housewives and so on seem to focus on this idea that money, power, orange tan lines, bad hair and massive eyelashes are what the viewing public is interested in; but also its more than that this idea that self glorification is somehow bad. There is actually a lot of negative connotations to the self perpetuation where the focus of it is looks, material wealth and glamour, this idea that bigger the breast the more chance a footballer will want to date you; or the bigger the muscle, blonder the hair and the deeper more bronzed tan, will get some porn star model with a DD chest to fall for you; is bad, and has such a vapid negative connotation that it goes beyond narcissism and into borderline stupidity.




It’s Not that Simple?


I find it troubling that there is a recent spate of what you could call anti-self love information graphics, doing the rounds on social media. It made me ask the internal question – Is there a difference between the selfie and narcissistic posts that say look at me? – Surely it’s not that simple; is constant posing for the camera and posting the image to social media and a selfie every few days/weeks different? Is saying I love being me and I love me two completely separate entities? Surely you can’t have one without the other, and to those who post up selfies and then post up informational graphics that tell the casual viewer how bad it is to adore or whatever yourself, is that not hypocritical?


Why is it fine to post up about how good self love is and why it is needed, but then also tell the casual viewer how bad it is because it’s now suddenly been rebranded as narcissism? Recently I have begun to get comfortable in my own skin and also spend time actually posting on social media, things to help people think about themselves and their behaviours; by the standards that your informational graphics set, this would now mean my posts are in some way not self promotional, but typical of someone with so called narcissistic personality disorder…




Time to Re-think YOUR Behaviours…


A word to the ‘wise’ maybe it’s time for you to change, not those of us who are actually comfortable with speaking out, writing our thoughts and breaking with the normal – which seems to be using someone else’s word and/or preach about love and light; let me tell you why, you can’t have the light without the dark and you can’t know love without first understanding hate. Yes! in case you’re wondering I actually do know them both quite intimately, and neither of them are nice. I have only learnt about the true language of light, because it saw me through my dark night of my soul. I only learnt to give and accept love unconditionally, because I spent most of my teenage social life learning what hate was, in all its multi-coloured darkness.


In business like life you have to know your trade and have a good sound knowledge base, no matter where it comes from. Self-love is brilliant and it needed at this time, so is recognising that narcissism is a tool; you actually need it if you are going to survive life as well as being in business. Regardless of whether you’re a sole trader, part-time or employed by a company, the ‘me, me, me’ is used to sell, sell, sell!

It is when the ego roams unchecked, preaching to all and sundry about love, light and how blessed we are to know you or about you that there is a problem; You become a lesson and also a gift; the lesson that you become is the very one you have been telling the viewership about. The gift is learning not to become the same said lesson.


Uneasy Lies the Mirror…


Now here is something that is really going to bake your noodle… If you have been reading through this and by now you’re ready to launch into the comments with some kind of tirade or you’re going to hunt me out on social media in the belief that you have to call me out because I am talking about you… That says more about you than it does about me, but here is where I flip you over and bake the other side – the biggest question of all I pose is this, why does it offend you? I have not mentioned names, I haven’t spoken about anything specific and further to that most of these images bar one have come from google through a general search and there is only one that came from social media and it turned up because I was looking for it.


Just as I wait for the timer to count down from the baking, I’d actually like to point out that I don’t actually have anyone in mind. In general from social media alone I think I know maybe 300+ people, of that 300+ I am on friendly terms with most and I know about half of that total number in person or through personal interaction via the internet; so no, none of this is specifically about you or anyone else, only you have made it about you and that is the difference here.

To me this is a post on traits that I have noticed on my social media feeds and through media consumption generally. It is also a commentary on how narcissist seems to mean, the insecure put the secure ones down and how for the jealous and the envious it is a word that claims a person is narcissistic because and then list all their reasons.


I’m Big, You’re Small…

Meanwhile (for me), these behaviours remind me of Matilda and in particular the character of Trunchbull and her bully tactics. Most of the time now I am reminded of the line I’m Big, You’re Small… It is always the ones who aren’t as comfortable in their own skin that cry wolf and scream narcissist. Yet these very same ones that do that have the loudest walls or the largest social media presence; try to have the biggest following, and look for the biggest amount of self gratification and yet they have no ego, apparently…

As for me, well I am still getting used to speaking my mind and also used to the problems that this brings, I seem to have developed the knack for de-armouring the light and fluffy using words. It makes people in that comfort zone jangle and forces them to think about the potential that not everything is light, rainbows and unicorns… Thing is, I am getting to be okay with that, because that’s my dharma and seems to be apart of who I am becoming…

Lessons of The I AM


Lessons of The I AM


A Beginning is a Delicate Time…


When Frank Herbert wrote Dune, he knew exactly what he was talking about; he’d studied ecology, mythology and tribal cultures; he then projected his imagination along with his knowledge of corporations from his time working in industry both as a reporter and then also (if memory serves) when he worked alongside the Oil folks as well. He understood what could and still might eventually happen to us as not only a culture but also as a species. What has the Dune series got to do with the ‘I AM’ quite honestly nothing and also everything. Its not about the books, or the story and it has nothing to do with the author’s background either. It has everything to do with the quote but I wanted to give the quote its proper context and place as well.
In the original version of this post, I called today a challenge, and the more I wrote the more I felt it was missing something as if it was too early to write. I tried to attach some meaning or at least something tangible but the more I did the more malfunctions began to happen, the signal to the net dropped or the bluetooth began to interfere with the wi-fi and then when I pulled back from explanation it got better. The lesson (the first of many today) was to stay in I AM, don’t place any attachment on to what is happening in that moment, if its not working for me then that is good enough, the explanation will present itself within the natural flow of cause and effect or a more simpler way to say it is When the Answer is ready, it will show up.
Staying present and being in I AM means checking in and going through the mantra I have set up; this is a tool that eventually will eventually become redundant because the I AM will be the constant anyway, all the time and within any situation no matter where or when that situation is happening. An example of this was going to the gym, I actively stayed within the I AM presence and I felt everything about the Gym experience, from knowing that I had run enough to knowing I had completed my time with the machine that does resistance work with the legs (both front and back). I literally decoupled from that machine it had served its purpose. Working with the free weights was a challenge because I was actively placing all my awareness in every sensation and suddenly for a fraction of a second I thought “crap this is too heavy for me” and then realised that I had to push through that because it was bull, the weights weren’t too heavy I was resisting because this was the first time the I AM had been in complete control since I restarted the gym all those months ago.


Sensing with The I AM


When I stepped back into me, I felt about 99.9% of the I AM presence. I was and I still am working through the Dharma, Dhamma, Catharsis or process (again whichever word resonates with you) from the weekend but today I felt the full 100% of the I AM presence. Right now though I am content to have the 99.9% even though that last 0.01% needs to be integrated but my sense of things tells me that needs to happen within the dream state, as I know that happened last night within the dream state.
I will tell you something funny, each time that I recoil from being completely truthful and honest, I feel it as a twinge within my body, and yet as soon as I say it openly and don’t care about what another pair of eyes in going to think its released, like avoiding saying within the dream state last night I was releasing, doing some form of dream de-armouring. Not dreaming about the events of the weekend but actually working within the dream state to heal or complete the de-armouring that had been started during the workshop that afternoon (whoa loving the release as I was honest about that there).
Okay so let’s go back into the discussion about stepping back into me, and feeling the full 100% of I AM. I want to finish that off before I discuss two other aspects that I have discovered throughout today. I mentioned in yesterdays post Exploring the I AM Power that I knew that I would end up working with de-armouring I didn’t know in what context but that when I was ready I would work with it. Well to be bluntly honest I thought that it would a while, nope it was today…
This evening to be exact, my husband and I haven’t seen much of each other because the workshop was a last second thing that it had to be arranged within the space of a few hours on Friday evening. To help you understand but without adding attachments or explanations we don’t at this time live in the same house as one another. However it was decided that we would see one another tonight but then he developed a headache, and it looked as if it wasn’t going to be possible. I don’t personally resonate with the concept of perfection, at least not in the sense of the word but I do resonate with the idea of synchronicity, manifestation or in very simple terms what Taoists call The Way; my sense of things is they all mean exactly the same thing and the word/name makes it tangible.
Leaving that as it is, I draw your focus to this, I was placed into the position where I had to use the techniques from the workshop to help hubby shift whatever it was that had come to the surface. It was interesting because it was head work and nothing else. As we had driven over to the house, any lower work was being done simply through holding space and through silence, the conclusion of that aspect came when we got into the house. The work as I said was head work, I knew where I needed to be, because I saw it. I knew what I was shifting because I had that knowing. I also knew the smell of it and taste too but I haven’t as yet got too much of a handle on those yet (it’s part of the 0.01% I mentioned above).
I then held space and allowed the Reiki to flow (more on that in a moment), at the end of it hubby had his higher third eye meridian or chakra open, we felt it happening together for me I had my shiva lingam or palm chakra complete its opening. Each time we connected hands or whatever we felt it happening. It was at that point we knew that we have Shiva and Shakti energy, creation energy in other words flowing. I am the Shiva Energy and he is the Shakti Energy; as Hubby pointed out he does have an 8ft Light body and as for mine, well put it this way I haven’t quite figured out where my light body starts or stops, it will do somewhere along the line but as yet I haven’t quite found them.


Words and The Knowledge of The I AM


At the gym I have two playlists, Gym List and Tai Chi which I use at the end; during the workout and while within the full I AM presence, the lyrics to some songs were an assault on my senses. It was like a set of instructions on a talking book or like seeing the Colour Red on the TV I allowed and battled through some of them but eventually I just had to start track shunting because enough had become enough. My sense of things brought back into my frame of the I AM memory a conversation that has come up a great many times about the power of words.
Let be clear about one thing, I give you a name that you can call me; my folks named me but the only power it has is the power I know allow it to have. My sense of things saw that today and I touched on it for a moment yesterday but the significance of that is now fully present within the I AM today, there is no longer any contract with the name I have given you to call me. Yes I know exactly how that is sounding right now and no I don’t care what meaning you take from it, if you take any meaning at all from it.
The De-Armouring for me released so much, none of it actually can be given word form, not out of concern for re-attachment as it has no place and no invite, but because there is no way to give it a name or anything, we don’t have the language for it well not any more. However the de-armouring also was a gift, I have written about the past life work that I have been through and about learning how I connect with Reiki The interesting thing that I have learnt through this since that work was done is something that I have only really ever given words to a few times, and I don’t plan on giving it words here because that opens a door to attachment or story and explanations, most of that is already been said in the past life stuff I wrote anyway you just need to read it.
Okay I am growing a little tired to this while relevant is hovering close to getting lost in story, explanations and placing attachment where it’s not needed. As I fully integrate into the I AM where there is no need to make the distinction or have the need for a mantra other than during the time I will be working, I have come to accept, embrace and quite honestly roll with some of the stuff that has happened. Working to remove energy from crystals, reiki symbols and negated the energy that was within a couple of things I had printed on to parchment and at the time cleared but today I realised that they had now served their purpose and needed to be negated rather than sent back into the void of all possibility.




The journey I began 3 years ago, has concluded in that all the parts of me are now returned; nothing prepared me for what sacred de-armouring would do and yet I know there could have been no other way to achieve what has been accomplished. As I finish up and prepare to publish this piece, I am in full awareness that there is only me, all parts of me have been integrated and I am ready now at the completion of this piece to fully embrace the last 0.01% – the range of feelings and energies that are doing the rounds within me at this moment aren’t anything other than the body healing and repairing from my time at the gym today.
What I write here isn’t really for validation or to create/weave a tale it’s an actual chronicle, a record of the transition and integration of the I AM. I am not bothered if you believe it, dismiss it or whatever. Unless you were there or you have been through de-armouring then there is a chance that you won’t fully resonate with this and that is fine, you are not meant to at this point. I welcome comments, regardless of polarity; I will answer them.
Thank you for reading this piece
Namaste <3

Exploring the I Am Power


Over this weekend I was invited (albeit) last minute on to Sacred Touch De-Armouring Level 1 Workshop, what had drawn me to the work has been a threefold combination of personal feeling, professional advancement and then something else that is actually neither of them and more to do with the work I have been doing with myself since around 2013. The trouble with actually explaining this work is exactly that, I am explaining and giving the explanation more power than it really needs, it’s a bit like an author writing their autobiography, and getting caught up in the minutiae of their story and what I am attempting (a bit poorly perhaps) to do is not actually get you caught up in that (but unintentionally doing just that).


I will get to why this is important in a second, but for now let’s stay with this point, with regards to the story and for once let me take it the personal for this explanation. I realised somewhere between yesterday and today I have been a bit like a tourist trying to fit in when dealing with social situations. I use words to attempt to impress, to fill in the moments and even use them too much because there was at that time a need for me to I guess prove something or deflect something, however I think maybe it could be both. At the end of the day that is semantics and that isn’t really needed nor is it the point, the whole point is I used words as an effective (from where I was at that time) shield, it wasn’t a craving to have power from anyone but it was to prevent someone stealing that power from me… but also I was being a voyeur upon the whole experience and interaction.


However today and this morning in particular is when I realised that up until that point there had been a form of subtle toleration of my voyeur and the best way to describe it a kind of humouring of tourist ways trying to impress, trying to fit in (so to speak) and then in one sentence and in one moment that was thrown back at me, the words were reflected back and I did not like that one bit. It’s hard to see that come back at you, it feels so raw and not welcomed but at the same time it was needed and what was required.


It sent the tourist and the voyeur packing and then there was quite literally just me; well the me aspect and that had no place to hide, it was either going to revert and recoil into the tourist in which case, it was time to move the car out and go to the beach and sulk, throwing out blame to the sea and claiming that I had just lost out on money, time and blah, blah, blah… In other word excuses, with more excuses on top of hey let’s go buy some crystals or let’s go find a place that sells tarot cards and buy them; or it was time to step up and confront.




The ‘I Am’ (which is the really the only way to describe this feeling) pushed the rest, the me part into staying and forcing all the issues to the surface. To the point that my healing process my integration of ‘I AM’ means that for now I have to lose my voice, I am have to lose the power of word play until I am ready to use language and words correctly and properly. Only then will I regain the voice that the I AM is meant to have.


So you see now I am in a position where I have no ability to weave a story or use more words than is needed. Even now as I am typing this piece up I am deciding on the best choice of language, tone and word so that there is no ‘story’ there just is the account from me to you the reader of the experience of transformation the De-Armouring and in particular Sacred Touch De-Armouring actually has.


Now don’t get me wrong, my inner editor is having a field day; the inner editor is actually me but when you have a dis-association with words and how to actually use them effectively, which is really what dyslexia is and when you don’t know or rather at some point have realised it is easier not to engage with others, which is where my triggers are for the autism traits I have. (I am having a laugh at the moment because I almost fell into the author analogy from earlier there…) Anyway back to the matter at hand, the inner editor as I was saying is being content in the fact I am keeping it as simple as possible and direct as possible, which if you know me in real time, is a huge change for me.




Okay so this work that I have been doing, it is personal/professional and it began in earnest around 2013, I did a lot of esoteric work not magic – well at least not in the conventional sense – more avant-garde than that, we’re talking about Akashic work, bringing home all the aspects that have been lost, we’re also talking about authentic self or true self. Trouble is when you start that journey, you are also having to bring home all the shadow-self aspects as well and being honest they aren’t nice.


When you begin no-one, well at least no-one I have encountered thus far is either willing to discuss or even open that door (for want of a better way to give it words) well until this weekend. Take it from me in all honesty right now you have no idea how much I want to stop writing this but it is needed because it is part of my process, my dharma, catharsis or process – they are really all words that mean the exact same thing, and I am checking in with the ‘I AM’ or the ‘I’ every few moments as this unfolds, even taking a break from the page and coming back to it has worked.


To explain the shadow-self has had many names, has had many descriptions but it is still all to do with you, all the contracts you make with daemons, dark forces, elementals and aliens. The contracts you create or forge within the past life (regardless of incarnation) it all still centres and connects to you. Shamans, Wise Women, Seers, Channellers, Sensitives and so on have all encountered the shadow-self in all its forms over the generations and dealt with the baggage, sent it back into the void of all possibilities or back into the time frame it belongs, sometimes they negate it and I feel that this is what was happening with me all through the weekend.




Having been through it, the negation, the release back into the void and even a rescue release into the higher side as well through the weekend has changed me, helped me to reclaim my own power and not only embrace but actually release the need to explain what I know without the need to question or attach anything to it now, when you work with me, you are working with one of the oldest souls. However until today I would have felt as if that needed story, explanation or the tourist/voyeur approach; now I will explain it, answer any question you may have with regards to that but at the end, what you do with that answer, is your own choice. I will have moved on within 90 seconds of giving you what you need.


Right so let’s pick up something that I said about two paragraphs ago; I said that no-one that I have encountered thus far is willing to discuss or open the door to that discussion… What I mean by this is more coming from a sense, a new found sense at that. Authors (nothing against them) and Founders of systems that are bringing in ways to reclaim and release or work within the akashic records are doing good work but at the same time they are opening the way for the shadow-self stuff to come back in and without proper explanation or even guidance (again not the right word but it’s close enough) it can take up residence and create a co-habitation or co-dependency relationship and you may not even be aware.


Now this new found sense of things (rightly or wrongly) tells me that this is not new but old ways that the ancestors recognised and knew how to deal with it because the knowledge was already there, the collective or universal mind (touched on something there that wasn’t ready to be expressed but it’s dealt with) already had that knowing. This world well the part of it I inhabit has long since forgotten about the collective knowledge, yes at times it surfaces and we feel it but effectively it’s being drowned out.




Authors and Founders don’t know or if that information is there it is being edited out to make the books sellable to a mass market. Sacred De-Armouring on the other hand, isn’t about making it sellable, palatable, there are no authors, tourists or voyeurs, there is only you. The shadow-self gets love, the parts that aren’t to do with you get negated and at the end there is only you. What you go through to get to that can be, well it honestly hasn’t got words it is experienced.


De-Armouring is not for everyone, mainly because my sense tells me that not everyone has that journey to take but it is a worthwhile experience to have regardless of journey. I don’t know (at least right now) how I am meant to work with it, but that is more to do with space than to do with me being ready. However my senses tell me that given the space circumstances it may chose to manifest or evolve into toning through voice, ting-shaws or singing bowl, it might be holding sacred space and that it just the tip of the iceberg known as possibilities, what I feel and I know without doubting it is De-Armouring has a place within my work. There are three known certainties for me: I know that it will be within my massage work, I know that it will be in my Angelic Reiki Work (touched on within the Practitioners but it will be within the Masters) and I know that when I need to I will go back to do more work with it for myself as well.




It has been a true honour to have you read this journey, I just want you the reader to know that this has been apart of my dharma, catharsis or process, it is whichever word you feel resonates with you as you have read this. I do not mind answering any questions, replying to feedback in the positive or the negative. Just realise that your words are your own, they don’t have an effect on what I have shared, they will not hurt or insult me because I experienced this first hand, your are just reading what I needed express.


Angelic Consciousness Cards – My 3 Year Project 1





On several posts that I have to both The Reiki Box and Jays I have mentioned and sometimes briefly explained the background to the Angelic Consciousness Cards. I decided that I would actually spend a little time both here on my blog as well as on The Reiki Box and Jays giving a bit of background to how the concept of the cards was arrived at. On the pages there is not really enough space to explain it in detail, however it does give you a little bit of a background to the concept but not really the creation.

Base ChakraAlthough not part of the Angelic Consciousness Deck that I have build, this is an example of how the orginal deck would have looked; however in place of the base chakra it would have had the name, symbol, description and traits of an Ascended Master or Archangel. I was introduced to The Consciousness Cards through Angelic Reiki 3 years ago and then several times since during my journey of Angelic Reiki. The idea behind the original deck was that you would shuffle and select a card, read what is said and then that card would represent the guiding influence throughout the entire workshop. The absolute beauty of this deck was it actually reflected where you were at the time and in many ways embodied who you became by the end (in an energetic sense).

I became that enamoured with the cards that I began a quest to find a set of my own, I began with an online search of retail outlets (amazon, waterstones, and ebay… etc) however this was to no avail. I then expanded my search to just online but by the time I began that search I had started to forget details about the cards and so eventually abandoned the search. That was until I redid my Angelic Reiki Practitioners and was reintroduced to the cards again, however at the time I did not think to explore looking for them but I kept it mind. Later that year I did the Masters certificate and really became fascinated by them and decided to start really investigating Angels, Archangels and Ascended Masters.


Further Investigation

I started by doing an Angel Healing Diploma, which introduced me to several archangels as well as my own healing guide (who is an Archangel) and as part of the diploma we were asked to create a set of Angel Cards. This brought back into my mind the Consciousness Cards and set me off on a quest, however circumstances changed and I did not return to the course until this Brow Chakrais month.

However before I had got ‘side-tracked’ by life I had created the Angel Cards but not quite as the instructions had set out. In my head I kept seeing the original consciousness cards deck, and I decided that I would attempt to replicate it in some way.

As you can image after such a long time, the design and even the name of the author had become a hazy memory so this deck that I had started to create, needed some inspiration and I decided to look not only to the Angel Healing Coursework but also Reiki, Ascended Masters and the Kingdom of Light, what I ended up with was 27 amazing connections and then I was hit with more inspiration, to find pictures that resonated at the same frequency as the meanings and names that I had selected. This took me a while because some of them it was an instant connection and for others it took time to find the right image as there were several variations on the theme.


It is true that most images that are in circulation belong or have been created by someone either known or unknown and at the time the image search that Google has was very much in its trial period (I also was not aware of it at this time). I had also printed off cards and was testing them out very casually online on my own page, so I was not really too bothered about ownership or documenting where an image had come from because they were for my personal use and really to answer a question on a paper as well.

However now that is starting to change because the more I am testing out the cards and the more they are resonating with people, I am now starting to wonder if I should begin to take the project further and using the images as a template, maybe look into creating an actual deck. The interesting thing is that I received an email the other day that told me about a deck of cards that had been created by another Angelic Reiki Master, who also does publishing. However this deck is more in-line with some of the authors already out there and they do not have the same feel or vibe as the ones that I have created.

What Next?

Heart Chakra

For the moment I am continuing to ‘field test’ the cards online and possibly within my Angelic Reiki as well as other workshops that I plan to do in the coming months. This will allow me to get a feel for what I need to change, tighten up or failing that find an artist, funding and a publisher and move into the next phase, which will be making my own cards a reality. You can follow my progress, check out the card readings and find out more about me and all my work here through this site or on facebook.

Nature of Things

Reiki-HandsReiki Kanji [Traditional]


Over the last 5 years I have been doing Tai Chi/Qigong, if you are unfamiliar with these then I would suggest looking them up on the net to get a fuller picture, however I can give you a brief idea here within this post. Tai Chi is both a martial art form and a restorative Chinese medicine practice that helps to build agility, strength, better circulation, better posture as well as mindfulness. Qigong is a Chinese medicine discipline that focuses on restoring the balance of Chi [Qi] within the body, as well as strengthening other aspects like better posture, restoration of the biological Chi [Qi] that resides within the body. The common thread between Qigong and Tai Chi is that they work with energy.

For the last 3 years I have devoted my entire being to Reiki, not just the one aspect but all of them. Karuna, Kundalini, Shamballa, Angelic as well as Eastern Traditional and Western Usui Reiki forms. Now I admit I am quite outspoken about Reiki and I have developed an affinity to Reiki; it was this year I found out why this affinity is hard coded into my being, through my Past Life Regression, so for me it really explains why I have such a passion for Teaching it and offering it as a therapy.
Reiki Traditional Kanji The most significant change to both the way I teach and do my therapies has come in the last 12 months, I have stopped getting in my own way and simply embraced the flow and the way. Thing is if you are a Practitioner or Master of any Reiki method, discussion of ‘The Way’ or ‘The Flow’ may still be lost on you a little because from what I have read so far, no one has really connected the dots so to speak. I think that might be because the approach to Reiki when you are of the Western World comes from Power, Profit and People; sometime the order is different but it still is very much about profit and power.
Not that these are bad things but really in order to appreciate the finer points and also to improve your own practice of Reiki, shifting the focus away from the principles of power, profit and people to inward reflection, self completion and healing or awakening the soul does help. This is where Tao [also referred to as Daoism] helps; as from the philosophical as well as at metaphysical level you stop ‘naval gazing’ and actually embrace the energy of the tan t’ien [can also be the dan tien]. This space below the belly button has a lot of associations in different cultures, it gets confusing the more you spend time looking into it.
The problem for most will be translating it into something tangible; it’s why for the most part many an author or instructor will stick to what they have been taught, or stick to the one source whether it is right or wrong. There is the personal interpretation of the information as well, depending on how it is understood will depend on how it is presented for others to read. If you come from a place of power, then its the powerful aspects that are focused on first, so if your audience is predominantly from the Western Hemisphere, there is a strong chance that power, dominance over that power and strength over compassion are the elements that will be put across first.
The same applies if you have been apart of subjugation such as being female, gay, different skin colour, different religion or refugee. If you author a book then the part that holds resentment can shine through in the words. What has affected that author will be more apparent than the content. That energy is the first thing picked up from that book by the readers senses, some ignore that sense of energy and read it regardless, whereas others don’t.
By 百楽兎 - My Own Work. Modified from Image:Pakua with name.svg (Original author: Benoît Stella alias BenduKiwi), CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=2662641It was really today (hence this post) that I finally put my jigsaw pieces together and began to make sense of how I see Reiki, and why my approach to Reiki is changing and constantly evolving or maybe de-evolving would be a better way to describe it. Tao teaches to embrace ‘The Way’ and describes this ‘Way’ as formless energy that flows through everything including our own self. This formless energy is alive and as we open the tan t’ien through Tai Chi and Qigong, that energy works with us in our daily lives, so where stoic upright marching gives way to relaxed flowing walking with purpose and mindfulness.
This is the exact same for Reiki, embracing it and making it part of daily life, allows the tan t’ien to fill up and expand all the other centres as well. After all the tan t’ien is part of the Sacral Chakra, which deals with the physical world and how we interact with it, our root chakra is how we connect to our physical being, not our connection to the planet but our connection to our own physical self. The Ba Gua, which is the symbol to the right represents Reality. The Broken/Unbroken represent what we know as Yin/Yang. Yin is the Broken and Yang is the Unbroken but one can not be without the other. In Reiki we are repairing Chi within the body, restoring the Balance and therefore returning the person/client to their place within Tao and ‘The Way’ or their place within it.
Although most Reiki teachings in the Western Hemisphere focus on the placement of the hands on to the Seven main chakra points, it really is only the tip of the iceberg in many ways. Working on those areas is fine when you are really just getting started but what if you learnt it from a different perspective? What if instead of focusing the attention on the safety net of the Seven Western Chakra points, you learnt what it felt like to work with energy first, so sensing it through the hands, the air, the ground and also from the elements like water or above a candle for fire?
I, the copyright holder of this work, release this work into the public domain. This applies worldwide. In some countries this may not be legally possible; if so: I grant anyone the right to use this work for any purpose, without any conditions, unless such conditions are required by law.Imagine then building on that knowledge as you work on yourself, your family and your friends as is the way during traditional Level I in the west. It takes the principals of Tai Chi/Qigong philosophy but means that unless you’re inclined to do so you do not need to start going to Tai Chi or Qigong classes. It also introduces the Tao in a simple way that does not confuse or put anyone off, in many ways it is taking Reiki back to its basic roots, as it was in the very beginning. It had nothing to do with Chakra’s and nothing to do with Power, Profit and everything to do with the self and by extension people.

Much like building a house, once you have the foundations it is then time to start building; therefore introduction to movement and mindful awareness of energy and its flow would be the next logical step. The Reiju when performed, watched or read appears to be very akin to Tai Chi/Qigong, remember Usui had been taught many of the Chinese and Japanese forms as he grew up and during his time as a Buddhist Monk. Therefore Tai Chi/Qigong as I explained at the top is about working with energy, flow and movement, so looking at the Reiju movements you can see they are not dissimilar. Again it doesn’t mean that you need to take up Tai Chi or Qigong in order to perform the Reiju, as most of Tai Chi/Qigong at the very start is mimicry and repetition so therefore all you would really need to do is emulate the postures and over time when emulating them begin to understand what they are doing at the energetic level.
It would also change how you would approach the healing of others in a therapeutic scenario, rather than just laying the hands on the body they would start to move of their own accord, over and on to the places and centres that required healing energy from Reiki. Instead of seven positions for a count of however long, you would scan the body, you would then not only work at the physical but also at the auric level as well. The hands would flow over the biological chi and energetic chi to restore both, it would be a continuous learning experience.

reiki-original-symbol.jpgThere would be a significant change in understanding and also responsibility where the Master Level would be concerned as well. A great deal of the stress and in a sense the fear of becoming a Master is taken away. There is an assumption or worry that to become a Master is to become a Teacher, to be honest you don’t become a teacher right away, the Master level is about Self Mastery, knowing yourself at the soul level or waking up the tan t’ien where the soul is seated, to allow that Chi energy to be formless and free within you. Then there is the knowledge of self, or the soul knowledge and then there is understanding what Reiki means to you. It’s not by any means easy but it is also not by any means hard either. The journey of Master to Sensei is not one everyone takes, as Sensei is the way of the teacher, to pass on the knowledge to others by means attunement and lessons.
Tai Chi/Qigong awakened my understanding of just how simple Reiki is, and how much it is apart of Tao, Tai Chi and Qigong, but also it awakened me to the concept that while the benefits of mastering Tai Chi and Qigong would be amazing, the main focus for me is bringing back Reiki to its origins, rather than its perceived origins. There is absolutely nothing wrong with any of the systems already out there, after all every master is a master for a reason. However the more Masters that are birthed with the knowledge of Reiki in its straightforward, simple approach the better.

Conversations with An Angel 4

Archangel Metatron

Archangel Metatron


“I’d like you share our conversation” I heard in my head. I knew pretty much without even needing to think about it that Metatron was paying me a visit. As it happens I had been working with Angelic Reiki since the night before my wedding. I find it stimulating, and relaxing at the same time. Since the end of last year I have been tasked by the Angelic Kingdom to do the Angelic Attunement for the planet every few months.

“Why would you ask me to share it?” I asked, I thought it was unusual for the scribe of ‘God’ asking me to share a conversation with everyone, no one actually ‘reads’ this blog anyway unless it’s a Hop Post. However I did as he suggested and sat down to do just that share our conversation as it happens. I don’t actually know what I am meant to share, but my guess would be as the words come in I type them and then I guess ask questions if they are needed…
Metatron: “Sharing the conversation allows others to glimpse into what it is like to share your consciousness with an Archangel energy; too often notions and ideas created by those who write drama or conscript reality do not convey the actuality of what it means to be alive and how wonderful it is too live. From a higher perspective it seems as if your heads are buried in a sand of your own making.
Me:”Is that how humans appear to you? Lost or buried in sand?”
Metatron: “Yes! From the higher perspective the Mortal Race, seems lost in a sandstorm of its own making, you hide behind screens, doors, physical trivialities such as status, money, politics and spiritual ambiguity. There is an arrogance within the Human race especially in that it claims to be the superior species because it kills another species without respect for the chains and cycles of life that have had precedence over Gaia long before Human-kind had the ability to string more than a few words together.”
Furthermore, human-kind separates itself with a basis steeped in blood-history and factional wars from bygone eras because as a species and a race you are not able to see passed the end of your own evolution. You argue about your origins and yet you have not evolved past the ability to kill, however you contradict this by claiming to be peaceful, and yet you are all part of the same cycle and species so you are equally held into account for your actions… There are no separations.
Me:”From the higher perspective you do not see colours of skin, religious choice, political allegiance or the name of God?”
MetratonMetatron: “יהוה has many translations but only one name and that is ‘Love’ just as you split an atom, you split יהוה name and in both instances you created something far worse, the only Devil is the one Human-Kind created, the only evil is the one that Human-Kind birthed, the only Hel is the one Human-Kind named and imagined. The gift of life is squandered and mistreated but that is your choice.”
As scribe to יהוה it is my purpose to keep a record a book for every human that has ever been born, I wrote my own book just as I wrote my brothers, fathers, mothers and those who came before and after. יהוה explained that it was always my function to write these books, I understand Human-Kind as did my brother, this is why we were tasked to plant the tree of life, cultivate it and allow it blossom and grow.
Me:”When you say Tree of Life, do you mean as in the Tree from the Biblical Garden of Eden?”
Metatron: “The Biblical Eden for many is as real as the apples that you eat, the water that you drink and the animals that human-kind slaughter. However Eden is a fable in truth what you understand as the Tree of Life is a metaphysical structure not unlike the building blocks used to create Life on Earth. It is a representation of the journey that all life on the planet takes. The Tree is perhaps better thought of as a Web, a Golden Web that extends to the limits of the imagination and each strand represents a life, and as a life is relinquished whether by choice or through natural selection, part of that web withers and falls away but just as one strand falls another grows and thus it keeps going. As a tree, a branch falls away as a life ends but another grows as life continues.”
Me: “I understand what you mean and I think some of the people will as well, but they’ll also look at this with a skeptic’s eye and just assume that I wrote this off the top of my head and I am not talking to an Angel because I am not a pastor, priest or saint, nor am I a Wiccan High Priest or anything other than…”
Metatron: “I am going to stop your hands before you complete that sentence and correct you on all of it… Yes! It is a conversation inside your mind and Yes! It was an inspired request that you received in your head but that does not make it any less valid. Angels select their messengers from all walks of Human-life; some of the best people to do the work of Angels are born of the Angels themselves. We are a living energetic consciousness that has never been bound by Human-Kind’s words or interpretations of our origins and actions.”
Before Human-Kind chose technology to replace rather than complement their own natural abilities, we chose Humans to be our messengers, you gave them titles such as Messiah, Prophet, Witch, Whore and many others. You chose when to listen and when to stop listening and so the Angelic Kingdom chose a different way to communicate, we chose to work with those who were ready to listen rather than those who would claim to speak on our behalf.
MetratonThe many that claim to be the voice of יהוה do not hear the word or feel the energy of יהוה instead they speak from a place of human perception of יהוה and lay claim to the name God as if this was the only translation and while this works for many it is not the true interpretation of the words from יהוה as they are not words as Human-Kind understands them but they are feelings, energy and vibrational frequencies that change the perception and raise it.
Right now יהוה is pulsing his word to those that care to listen, care to hear the word and you do not need to have religion, you do not need to be anything other than open to the word of יהוה that vibrational energy raises and awakens you to who you are at the deepest core, your soul. יהוה says listen to the soul, listen and follow that truth reject all that does not resonate, even this message if that is what you wish, however יהוה says to reject this message and this conversation shows that you have not reached the higher frequencies that are contained within the truth that is contained here.
Me: “When you say Higher Frequencies, what do you mean?”
Metatron: “Everything vibrates and resonates, your science has proven this as a fact; the lowest density frequency would be understood as 1D, increase the frequency and the resonance changes therefore 2D, 3D and 4D are all possible, the frequency and resonance of love comes from source, for human-kind this source is יהוה there is no literal translation for יהוה and so Human-Kind has given it as many translations as possible, you have given יהוה a female companion in some older ways but ultimately יהוה just is, but it is how human-kind has felt the vibration of love that has given rise to the many literal and non-literal translations that have been created.
Angelic energy has always been present amongst human-kind, you evolved once before but you were not ready to rise above your ego and so when you began again, it was decided that you would make of the world what you would but for every accomplishment or achievement there have been as many fallbacks and backwards slide. Therefore יהוה tasked the Angelic Kingdom and The Spiritual Hosts to help and aid Human-Kind as much as possible thus we do what we can in small, quiet and simple ways.

So there you have it, a conversation with an angel. It’s raw and unedited, I don’t expect that it will be read that often or go down that well but hey I had fun writing and working with them as always, for me that is really all that matters 🙂

Self Reflective Tarot

Scan - Tarot 41

XI – The Hermit (Röhrig Tarot)


One of the first lessons that I did when I started looking into the Magikal/Esoteric side of the Tarot was to find myself. It’s not quite a shamanic journey into the soul and discover yourself but its locating the path of energy and karma that connects you to the moment and the world/universe at this time. As self study goes it can be quite profound and for the most part the card never actually changes, true other cards connecting you to your karma and pathway of the moment may get added but the core card remains the same.

Osho Zen TarotI tried the same thing in different decks the same thing happened, the same type of card and meaning seemed to follow me; The Osho it was ‘The Master’ and in the Röhrig Tarot it was ‘The Hermit’ and in The Witches Tarot its ‘The Seeker’ interestingly the only time it was numerlogically a ‘9’ was Osho, but the more I learn about the Eastern aspects, the more I start to see why it wouldn’t be that number.

The Hermit’s meaning when you look it up in the books says ” The traditional hermit is a crusty, bearded character who has withdrawn from the company of men to live a life of seclusion and hardship. Card 9 supports this understanding. The Hermit represents the desire to turn away from the getting and spending of society to focus on the inner world. He seeks answers within and knows that they will come only with quiet and solitude.

There comes a point in life when we begin to question the obvious. We sense that there is a deeper reality and begin to search for it. This is mainly a solitary quest because answers do not lie in the external world, but in ourselves. The hermit on Card 9 reminds us of Diogenes, the Greek ascetic who is said to have gone out with a lantern in hand to search for an honest man. Diogenes is a symbol of the search for truth that the Hermit hopes to uncover by stripping away all diversions.

In readings, the Hermit often suggests a need for time alone – a period of reflection when distractions are limited. In times of action and high energy, he stands for the still center that must be created for balance. He can also indicate that withdrawal or retreat is advised for the moment. In addition, the Hermit can represent seeking of all kinds, especially for deeper understanding or the truth of a situation. “Seek, and ye shall find,” we have been told, and so the Hermit stands for guidance as well. We can receive help from wise teachers, and, in turn, help others as we progress.

Witches Tarot - The SeekerThis card is Destiny, there is no question in my mind that is what this card represents and to embrace exactly what Destiny offers is to take ownership of your own energy and be able to say that you dictate what is going to happen to you. True we are influenced by our stars, other people and the cosmic order of things but at the end of the day, it is our own choice to set whatever ball is on top of our hill into motion. It is not fair to put the blame on to someone else or say it is circumstances, but track it back it is always you, you are involved in the situation, you are involved when sometime bad begins and its you that can make the choice to end that cycle of bad by walking away or taking action to change it.

That is not to say that someone else isn’t at fault, they can be and in some of the more serious circumstances they are and should be held accountable as well as punished when the situation calls for that to be the case. However it still comes back to you/us to end that cycle. Destiny is fickle and it never pans out the way we assume its going to; however taking ownership of that karma and that energy puts you in control and you can change the intention and outcome for the better, well that is my take on it anyway.