#balance


Balance: Approaching the Path to Yin/Yang Understanding

Balance: Approaching the Path to Yin/Yang Understanding

Challenging Your Perceptions…

 

TBHTo challenge and in return be challenged is a gift, although if I am honest, I do not always see it as such. Unless I am writing an article for the Tarot Blog Hop or Reiki Blog Hop then a lot of what I am writing is Soul-Felt. Recently I have found myself on the receiving end of more than one challenge. During Sacred De-armouring I was confronted with my own tourist like behaviours in all kinds of situations. It wasn’t an easy thing to deal with but the gift I received wasn’t just knowledge but also a personal truth; and an uncomfortable personal truth at that.

 

Being shown that sometimes you can be wrong, isn’t something I was ready to feel or possibly even accept. I avoided the concept like I avoided the concept that things could be perfect, complete opposite ends of the same spectrum and I had to face both over the course of one weekend. Now here I am confronting that same lesson but this time I don’t have that feeling, I read through an article that at first thought well yes! I must be wrong in my thought processes, but then I processed it a little more and thought about an old turn of phrase.

 

TBHMany moons ago I picked up a turn of phrase, ‘Twice is Confirmation’ it just means to hear, see or come into contact with the same thing more than once is proof that there is something to it. This is something that has time and again shown itself to be accurate for me, when I am writing a paper for a course or doing a project, I fact check and I will make note of the places that I gain information from. Typically I will go to my books first and then I will come to the internet and if all else fails I will ask, before going to Wikipedia. It is rare for me to state that I know something for certain or make any definite statement, as I try to only speak from my experiences and my own knowledge base. I have had a lot of my work and words validated over the last 20 – 24 years and that includes anything that I have done with regards to Tarot or Spirituality.

 

The one thing I have grown tired of saying in all that time is I’m dyslexic, it has become this badge I continually have to wear almost like a caution for the ignorant or those too lazy to take the time to read posts and pages properly. It will almost always come up at some point in a conversation with someone who doesn’t know me that well and in those instances it’s actually fine, and I don’t mind, I think that other thing I have grown weary or maybe just wary of is just how limited the perception others can have. I mean I am the one with the reading issue and yet I end up having to walk someone through a train of thought that is fairly self explanatory.

 

TBHWords Have No Emotion Unless Spoken or Framed in Context… There is just something powerful in that simple statement, we use words, sentences and paragraphs every moment of life, even as babies before we grasped what words were; we had our unique language and then we were gifted the ability to structure that unique language with words that belonged to our race, country and place of birth. Throughout time we have been able to attach emotions to the words spoken and written words in a book when framed correctly evoke the right emotion, but words in a text message and certainly in a messenger window, don’t that same kind of emotional connection; initially they are just words and true once we know a person very well, we attach emotion and even a voice to them, but we know that person to some degree but yet there is an almost incessant need to attach an emotion to the words of a stranger, we’re almost socially conditioned into it.

 

Maybe it is something that I have gained from the on and off years I have been doing Tai Chi, or the connections that I have made between Reiki, Eastern and Western philosophies; as well as the philosophies from Taoism and Buddhism. I have come to realise that where the internet and indeed social media are concerned there is no point in creating attachments to the words that authors write on pages or feeds. To personalise something that may or may not be about you only causes you the emotion, the other person is oblivious to the fact you are having those feelings. In fact to show that you are reacting only make that person stronger, so sometimes it is best to just walk away from it.

 

TBHIt may sound out there but for long enough there has been a sense that I had been shattered or at the very least fractured through the drama on Social Media. Granted on the outside everything would appear fine to the casual stranger but on the inside, there was the sense of shattering, and it needed to come its natural end. So with that in mind I think that at this point I want to start rounding up some of the threads that are within this post. Mainly to help you understand where this is all leading to. As for me I already know because I am the author, so let me start with something that I mentioned at the start about tourist behaviours; these are behaviours such as making and stating very grand things but not really having that much conviction or explanation behind them, they are said to see what reaction can be evoked, its not really done in malice or badness it’s a defence mechanism that I employed to try make friends or at least hide behind a pretence and observe people without really being in the moment or having a genuine feeling or connection.

 

It is almost as if a moment is a transitory experience and it doesn’t actually matter, when the reality is, that every moment does matter, regardless of how transitory it might appear to be. There are other examples as well but the best one to really see yourself through your own eyes is to remove your name, for a day or in the right kind of workshop just remove your name, or give yourself another one and see what happens. Another one to try is ask yourself “Who are You without Your Spiritual Story?” When I chose to do that very thing, I saw myself through the eyes of others and it changed me. At first I was actually repulsed by the words that others had said to me, eventually after trying to hold it together I broke, I needed to break and needed the release because in doing so I found myself again… I had to go through a period of dissolution, but through this I’ve rediscovered my core essence and being.

 

TBHWhere words are concerned, I relate and work with a great deal of the Ancient and Arcane ways, however these two words have caused problems in the past. I find that they are very similar in meaning and when I use them I do so with specific context. However before I begin the next wrap up paragraph; I’ve looked up both words in to clarify my thinking and I am happy that my own perceptions and usage for them is correct.

 

The word Ancient can mean: “Ancient(adj); old; that happened or existed in former times, usually at a great distance of time; belonging to times long past; specifically applied to the times before the fall of the Roman empire; opposed to modern; as, ancient authors, literature, history; ancient days“.

 

The word Arcane can mean: “Arcane(adj) understood by few; mysterious or secret.”arcane procedures for electing people” synonyms: mysterious, secret, hidden, concealed, covert, clandestine, enigmatic, dark; esoteric, obscure, abstruse, recondite, little known, recherch√©, inscrutable, impenetrable, opaque, incomprehensible, cryptic, occult “the arcane world of the legal profession” antonyms: well known, open“.

 

Let’s walk this through, to explain why I feel these two words can be used in a specific context. Arcane as you can see “understood by few; mysterious or secret” and Ancient as you are also aware and can see “old; that happened or existed in former times” by our modern day standards Arcane knowledge is also Ancient knowledge because it is now not known or understood by few and has become mysterious and secret because of its age and because it existed in a former time (Source: definitions.net & google.co.uk)

 

However this notion of word usage and context has as I say became a problem, and made me address this idea of being wrong or misinformed. It’s like my knowledge base as well, I have studied many subjects within the esoteric movement from parapsychology, numerology, character analysis, astrology and the list goes on, I have studied tarot but I learnt through doing not through books, I only chose to get a certification because I felt being out in the public domain I had better have something that shows my worth. The books I have on the subject vary from 1800’s through to 2016 and somehow I don’t think I would just ‘bin them’ because my thoughts on the matter clash with someone else. (you can see the entire saga here)

 

13925125_1014015315378834_3318230305177294569_nIt really comes down to a matter of balance and opinion. If I believe I am wrong I will admit to it, if another suggests that I am wrong or that my knowledge is fallible then that is also something that I will admit to as I did on the Sacred weekend. However on this blog and this site, I am prepared to dig my heels in and not exactly fight but state my case from my understanding until either an impasse is reached or I realise that there is no power in the words and it is opinion. In which, case I am no longer afraid of suggesting that the opinion is actually wrong. True there will be times when both opinions are right or indeed wrong, but at the end of the day, does that even matter?

 

The soul of the matter for me is direct and straightforward, opinion like fact is based on someone having written the words to begin with and then having others back-up, verify and give pundits or accreditation to those words. Then through time the words soon become thought of as fact and eventually even historical fact; whether they are right or wrong; Freud is a good example of this, many still accept his work as historical fact but many others find his work to be flawed and outdated by our modern day standards and yet many still adhere to his works and reference them. As I said at the very start of this to challenge and be challenged is a gift. It may not always be welcomed but it is a gift none the less. I have received several gifts from challenges. It has changed the way I process and make sense of them. The best way for me is to write it out. Like I have done here; I know my mind, my knowledge and own my understanding, I am happy and content to have that peace, I am also content that some days I may be wrong and my opinion may be wrong but you know something… Today really isn’t that day…

 

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Facing the Light of Diogenes

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TBHI felt challenged earlier but in a very good way. I was reading Jeff Foster’s Page on Facebook, and he posed a very interesting question; “Who are you without your Spiritual Story?” – the question is part of a poem/haiku-esque piece but its profound in that it asks a very potent and loaded question. Let’s face it anyone that walks a faith path, whether its orthodox as we understand it today or non-traditional again by today’s standards there is a story attached, however that is not always a bad thing, it just is the way that some are.

 

TBHI am not certain that my own path of faith actually has a name, I read on Social Media ages ago now about Om-ism representing the path of belief in all faiths, but as it turns out this is just another Social Media Meme and doesn’t actually have any basis outside the Binary / Hexadecimal constructs that are the Internet. It’s a pity because I really like that idea of Om as well as representing the core sound at the heart of the Universe (Spiritually speaking) also representing the Path of Belief and Understanding within all Faiths. Alas for now it will need to remain an allusion and meme for the moment, but it is interesting to find this question and then discover, what I thought was a real thing, was just a meme, which then brings me back round to the question of the moment; “Who am I without my Spiritual Story?”

 

TBHMy ‘story’ is interesting because I began with being baptised into the Church of Scotland (CoS), its diocese and predominance would be akin to Presbyterian in England and some rural places in Scotland, but it is mostly recognised as being in line with Protestantism. After 40 odd years I still haven’t worked out why there is such a divide between the different orthodox religions in the UK let alone the world. However I am stressing here, I am not open for a discussion on the whole thing, in my 40 plus years in this incarnation, I have managed to avoid the whole religious politics that divide the UK as a nation because of something that happen well over 300+ years ago and really needs to be healed.

 

TBHOkay so back to the point, as I said I began in the CoS and then around high school age, towards 13/15 I started to witness flaws that I guess I already knew were there but wasn’t aware enough to see them, but at this stage when all my senses were adjusting through puberty I did. Women bitching about others, Men folk being ignorant of other men folk, and even children absorbing this spectacle of hypocrisy and starting to parrot it back, I realised as I sat out in the hallway waiting on my folks that this was not my life. This is was not a community nor was it a path that I wanted to follow any longer, it was flawed and worse than that it had betrayed me. I had believed that it was accepting, all encompassing and loving, but it was much like the parables of Judas and his betrayal of Jesus, and at that moment I related to Jesus more than any human in those walls outside of my parents.

 

TBHMy journey expanded throughout the next ten years and then again after I was 25, till I reached a point where I had become familiar and understood a percentage of the worlds religions, including the ones that weren’t really known or had been forgotten about over here. What I discovered throughout this journey of learning, was that they all had common themes and denominators; and yet they still fought about who was right and wrong. The answer is still glaringly obvious; they are all right and also they are all wrong because like history it really boils down to who is writing it. Most faiths have been written and then re-written when the need has arisen. (King) Henry VIII for example didn’t like some of the text in the bible, in his benevolence, he had it re-written, only to then decide that he wanted religion based around him. As his illness and subsequent madness took hold, Henry decided that anyone who wasn’t following his chosen faith was to be killed. This speaks of a macabre spiritual story and also speaks volumes about the pitfalls of religion, when you ponder upon it from an ‘objective’ point of view.

 

By Internet Archive Book Images - https://www.flickr.com/photos/internetarchivebookimages/14560204190/Source book page: https://archive.org/stream/lychnocausiasive00farl/lychnocausiasive00farl#page/n49/mode/1up, No restrictions, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=44199636If I were to come face to face with the modern day version of Diogenes of Sinope and he/she/they were to ask of me “Who are you without your Spiritual Story?” then I would answer in honesty as I allowed the lamp light to shine upon me. I would say that I wear this face and this body, a wonderful combination of my parents genetic and biological genetics. I hold in within me the generational bloodlines of countless generations and I have healed the wounds of these generations and released the traumas that were contained within them. I continue on by saying that I have been a victim of an failing education system but I am better now, and I am certain that this is not the only time I have been here and I have a dharma line that is as much ET as it Human. Without my Spiritual Story, I am a loyal and loving person to my husband, my friends, my family as well as to the strangers who I may meet for the first time. I strive to be the same person online as I am offline, in person as I am on the phone. I will continue to strive to be the best me I can possibly be at any given moment.

 

HermitAs well as being able to ‘Step into Death’ when I am working on platform, I find that these days I am stepping into the role of Diogenes of Sinope or The Hermit, where I am starting to not only hold a lamp up at my own truth, honesty and authenticity but I am holding up the lamp as I start my own quest looking for an Authentic Person. Truth like honesty is a perception, we each see these concepts from our own ‘objectivity’ therefore no one person is ever right or wrong in their beliefs with regards to the Truth or Honesty. Collectively we believe in a singular truth, but when each of us witnesses something wrong with the facts that build up this singular truth, particularly when it is from our own perspective, we then collectively start to question it. Whether it develops into a conspiracy theory, a dismissal of that truth from the individual or collectively we question the facts, is really dependant on the singular truth. The one that I came across last week was a science philosopher that stated Reiki was a myth and had no solid basis for it to work.

 

TBHPersonally and also professionally I really didn’t much care for the authors opinion of facts as he saw them. It was his truth and he was owning it, in text at that time of writing and again at the time of printing and release of the book. Purely at that level and without engaging with it too much, I gave the author his truth and continued reading the rest of the chapter, if I were to hold up my lamp to this text and this author I am not sure I would find authenticity, I would find a respectable author, scientist and philosopher but as to his authenticity, I remain uncertain but I will admit perhaps I am slightly jaded because of his remarks with regards to Reiki. However I will say this, when you follow a path of logic, reason and science; it can be hard to accept something that is metaphysical in nature. I would not suggest that it is spiritual purely because Reiki isn’t a religion, it would be amazing if it was but then it would lose a lot of its credibility as a healing modality and pathway to recuperation that it has become known for today.

 

TBHReturning again to the question that was posed at the start, “Who are you without your Spiritual Story?” I am an incarnate being androgynous by nature, on a journey of authenticity that started at some point in my teenage years and has meant shedding a load of Trauma’s, Karmic and Dharma drama that wasn’t mine to start with, it has meant standing up to some nasty people out to damage and hurt me professionally and personally but it has also meant meeting and being in love with an amazing husband, having an awesome family and loving my life as it continually evolves, changes and becomes.

 

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